One magic loogie
On the Pulse never jokes about crime, but a recent NSW Police media release did sound a little like something from the Three Stooges.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
A man was arrested in Redfern after a string of events that seem to make for good dinner table conversation.
The release read: “A man has been arrested and charged in relation to the assault of a baby in Surry Hills over the weekend.”
Ears pricked, we read on...
“Just after 5.30pm (Saturday, February 27), a four-month old baby was being pushed in her pram by relatives along Crown Street.
“A man, not known to the family, leant inside the pram and spat on the baby’s face before running off.”
What? Why?
Then the drama unfolded with more depth.
the baby’s grandfather was on the scene and gave chase after this act and pursued the spitter, who then collided with a car, recovered, only to get up and keep on running.
He was last seen running south along Crown Street.
Wow. Only in Sydney.
Yes, we get that it was pretty gross, and spit is not anything anybody wants in the face at any age (even though babies spit up on us all the time) but it’s involuntary. We get that.
Back to the story:
“Police from Surry Hills Local Area Command were notified of the incident and made patrols of the area, but were unable to locate the man."
Now, we’re talking the big smoke here. Lots of robberies, burglaries, violent assault, murder, drug trafficking, sex trafficking, the whole kit and kaboodle. But still…
“An investigation into the matter commenced, and around 4pm yesterday (Tuesday, 1 March 1) officers arrested a 37-year-old man at his home on Morehead Street, Redfern.”
He was collared. Well and proper.
The spitter was taken to Redfern police station and charged with a string of offences related to the incident which entailed common assault and pedestrian move into driver’s path.
Really?
However, the fellow was “also charged with an additional count of common assault as part of an unrelated domestic violence matter”, and bail was refused, so in that case, that loogie might have been beneficial after all, though it did come at a price.
Mysteries of the universe: showtime
It’s showtime! And, while the rides are fun, the rodeo is thrilling and asking if the cotton candy bloke will cotton candy your arm is always a fascinating polemic, all Pulse really wants to know is how many animals, old boots and North Korean newspapers from 1955 to 1975 are mooshed up in the humble Dagwood Dog. Whatever the secret ratio is, it’s bloody delicious!
