Talking trees
On the Pulse was astounded to receive a letter from a London Plane tree this week. It spoke in strong Cockney when On the Pulse met it to confirm its details.
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The best guess is it must have gone down to London looking for work at some stage, before its whole family came over here; but we digress.
LPT’s letter read: “Your Councillors attacked my family with chainsaws, tortured us with a stump grinder but yet I have survived. I’ve been waiting; awaiting my chance to show myself and now I’ve emerged – displaced in my own community, lonely in Campbell Street, last of my tribe.
“I have no doubt they will subject me to another murderous assassination attempt – perhaps some toxic chemical mix injected or sprayed into me ‘for the good of the community’.
“From the moment the community ‘Rebel Alliance’ of Inverell through people power expressed their democratic concern and provided a stay of execution, the fate of ‘my tribe’, the Campbell Street Plane trees was sealed – ‘all gone, all gone and I remain alone’
‘I think that Inverell will never see a poem as lovely as a Campbell Street Plane tree’ (Apologies to Oodgeroo and Joyce Kilmer for the paraphras-ing). In the meantime I remain a sign of hope for the community of Inverell, yet I calmly await my fate - determined by the Empire forces of the Death Star.”
A Plane Tree
Campbell St.
On the Pulse can understand why LPT feels devastated.
He’s a tough little beggar no doubt (although he may be watching too many movie reruns), but he’s in a big group of bad tempered, non-indigenous horticulture that remains ‘misunderstood’ in our midst.
On the Pulse commends him on trying to find a voice, but that almost unintelligible Cockney accent isn’t making it easy.
What are the odds?
It is an excited On the Pulse that sits enthusiastically on the edge of the coming (possible) double dissolution. Don’t you just love the anticipation of having all that power when the pollie circus comes to town, begging for their jobs back? And with a double dissolution it’s double the bang for our buck!
Some people hate election years, but On the Pulse loves them.
That traditional spreading of the mailed how to vote cards on the lounge room floor to get it straight in your head which candidate has the most promises to break, while cranking up some election music in the background.
All those new suspicions forged about any neighbour who might contact the police about the noise.
Granted those election night parties so popular in the 70s may not be as trendy these days, but there is always a much used DVD of ‘Don’s Party’ lying around somewhere to play to bring back those memories, and the bookmaker’s odds to review.
Going through the online bookmakers to find out just what some are betting on can be an education in itself, and is a time honoured tradition with On the Pulse.
According to the punters there is going to be a double dissolution ($1.40 yes, $2.75 no) and there will be another hung parliament ($6) and favourite at the moment for the number of cross benchers is four ($2).
