WITH relief, we can finally put to rest Pistol, Boo, and that weird tiff between the Member for New England and (as Barnaby put it a few times) the sexiest man alive.
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But not, it seems, without a stilted hotel room video from Johnny Depp and Amber Heard that looked and sounded more like a primary school geography presentation than any kind of meaningful statement.
Despite the cornucopia of acting talent, there are no breaths held for looming Oscar nominations.
In the end, Heard escaped the pet smuggling charge with a month’s good behaviour bond, worth $1000, and no conviction recorded. Australia one, Depp zero?
Let’s face it. The saga’s conclusion, though definitive, was about as climactic as The Tourist’s run at the box office.
It was a messy, at times embarrassing, battle for the win and we’re all a little unsure if we can be proud of it.
The Guardian's report on court proceedings (April 18) described the saga as Australia’s “highest profile criminal quarantine case” that had no conviction. The question now is whether all the hype has us talking about border security in the right way, or for the right reason, or whether the issue has been forgotten in the wings all together.
In the verdict, Magistrate Bernadette Callaghan said the Depps’ video was “of far more benefit to this country” as a deterrent for other offenders, than any conviction would have been.
At least we can sleep safely knowing that if any other celebs want to bring their pets here, they’ll meet at least some resistance.
Now, we’re all talking about border security in a way we might otherwise not have done were it not for the obscure drama.
But are we saying the right thing, or are we just saying it loud enough for the world to hear?
If Pistol and Boo belonged to anyone other than a couple of global celebrities, we might not have thought twice about plonking them, and their owners, on a slow boat back home with a note to say “thanks for the visit, please don’t call again”.
In that alternate universe, a couple of terriers certainly wouldn’t have made the news - no one would have seen, heard, or cared.
It’s got us wondering whether Barnaby and Depp’s catfight had the desired effect?
Would we have cared, or even noticed, if it hadn’t?
In the end, it’s concerning that such a serious issue as border protection is now being touted from a mobile phone recording on Barnaby’s Facebook page.
