Amanda Duffin takes solace in sitting by her husband's grave, feeling the connection and easing a longing feeling for him.
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Michael Duffin died on August 9, 2021 and is buried at the Horsham cemetery, in Victoria's Wimmera region.
It's been a tough six months for the widow - a new wave of grief rises with every milestone and anniversary passed.
But it's a story of disrespect that has led Ms Duffin to bravely speak out.
Countless times Ms Duffin has arrived at Mr Duffin's grave to find it the subject of vandals.
Broken ornaments, stolen memorabilia and even bikes ridden over the grass has Ms Duffin finally saying "I've had enough".
She contacted the Wimmera Mail-Times to hopefully spread the awareness of the unacceptable behaviour.
Mr Duffin suffered from motor neuron disease - diagnosed only a few years before his passing due to the progressive nature of the disease.
"He suffered from the disease for about a year before getting a diagnosis," Ms Duffin said. "He started seeing the signs. I looked after him as best I could for nine to 10 months. I did everything for him.
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"He is a man that shouldn't be disgraced. I saw him suffer - yet that same man that shrivelled to nearly nothing bared a smile when he looked at me."
Ms Duffin explained many birthdays, anniversaries and the festive season has come and gone without the love of her life.
"I use the cemetery as a place for me to go to speak to him," she said.
"I know he's not alive. But I can sit there and talk, let my emotions out.
"By the time I leave I walk away feeling calmer and feeling like I can get through the next day, or week, or whatever might be challenging me at that time."
Ms Duffin said on a number of occasions the feeling of peace and calm hadn't been the case due to vandalism to her husband's grave.
"People have been smashing his belongings that have been left there," she said.
"They're stealing the precious belongings that I, and other people, have put there in memory of him.
"Part of my grieving process is to make sure Michael's grave is perfect. Different people grieve in different ways and this is the way I have found gets me through the process of losing Michael."
Mr and Ms Duffin had been in a relationship since 2008 - creating a life together before getting married in 2014.
"It's a lifetime for us," she said.
Ms Duffin said the most disappointing occasion was when she visited the gravesite to grieve was just before Christmas.
"Everything that was put at his grave was either smashed or taken," she said.
"It's disgusting behaviour. When I go there I go there to be at peace with my husband. If he's ok then I'm ok.
"If he's not ok and people are destroying and being disrespectful it makes me so upset.
"I know it might sound strange or silly. But I just want him to rest there peacefully and happy."
Ms Duffin said she believed the vandals wouldn't have the understanding of what a place like a cemetery means to others.
"Just going to a place like that is so peaceful and calming," she said.
"I have anxiety - I don't hide from that. I feel so calm and at peace, once I leave there."
Ms Duffin said outside of people having some "human-being decency" she hoped caretakers could look into the potential of installing solar lights at the cemetery.
"Anything that could deter these vandals would be helpful," she said.
"I've spoken to a number of people about this but no one has seen anything. The caretakers also can't control the behaviour of the public.
"These vandals just need a heart."
A spokesperson for the cemetery trust said lighting could be something the committee to look at but funding would be a big factor.
The spokesperson said the cemetery received no annual funding from the government but were always looking for ways to fund improvements.
"Wimmera Security also does regular patrols of the area," they said.
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